Stress and success: Mixed emotions for Armed Forces rugby players' partners
It's tough on the pitch for those members of the Armed Forces who play rugby - but it can be tough on their loved ones as well.
Forces News has been speaking to the partners of three players from the three services to find out what they have to go through to support their other halves.
One of the women is Alice Grant, whose partner Toby plays for the RAF men's rugby union team, and she explained how it was often difficult to keep in contact with him when he was away.
She explained how she also has to deal with the inevitable injuries he sustains on a regular basis, whether that might be a black eye, broken toe or dislocated shoulder.
"The other day I had to leave work early to get him from A&E for five hours, so it’s kind of adapting where you can," said the 26-year-old.
Ms Grant, who works as a Buyer, said it is scary and hard - but accepted this is what comes from being in a relationship with someone who plays rugby at such a high level.
Ms Grant is one of three women Forces News spoke to who lifted the lid on what life is like during the Inter Service rugby union championships and beyond.
The trio try to watch their partners play in games around the country. They have also seen various matches during the Inter Service championship, meaning they have had to navigate the wonderful wins and the desolate defeats.
The contrasting set of emotions could not be seen clearer than last weekend after the Army's dramatic last-minute 43-42 win over the Navy in front of a 45,000-strong crowd at Twickenham.
The Army players were jubilant, while the Navy players were less ecstatic at having to hand back the Babcock Trophy.
Fiona Wilson-Murray, whose husband Lance-Bombardier Nick Wilson-Murray started at flanker for the Army, was in the stadium to see it all.
"Obviously, the first half was stressful [the Army were down 29-5 at half-time], but the end result was amazing. We couldn't have asked for a better end result," she said.
The 27-year-old, who works as a member of Virgin Atlantic's cabin crew, said the players and partners went on to a function following the game.
The next day, a small group from the squad and their partners went to Go Ape and had dinner to celebrate their victory.
However, most supporters do not get to see what happens when the posts are packed away and the last song is sung in the pub following a loss.
Olivia Hayler, whose husband Captain Jarrard Hayler is the Royal Navy men's team captain, said she was "absolutely devastated" because they had not managed to get a back-to-back Inter Service championship win.
"I think it will take them all a few weeks just to sort of process what happened and reflect on the game, then just try to focus on the next year," said Mrs Hayler, herself a former officer in the Royal Engineers.
The world is a turbulent place currently, with conflicts ongoing in Ukraine, Gaza and Sudan, meaning personnel may be deployed to distant places for long periods of time at little notice.
Mrs Hayler, who left the Army in January last year and now works as a marketing executive, said there was always an element of worry if her Royal Marine husband were to be sent to a potential conflict zone.
However, she said she knows the reasons for him wanting to be deployed.
Ms Grant echoed this sentiment, agreeing with Mrs Hayler that the prospect of her boyfriend being deployed is "really scary".
"I would be there no matter what," she said. "I suppose you have to crack on when you sign up to having a boyfriend in the forces."
On the other hand, Mrs Wilson-Murray said she would "just go with the flow" as her husband, who serves in the Royal Artillery, has not been deployed properly yet.
Deployments can make it hard to keep in contact with a partner, and the three women said they often Facetimed their partners when they were away from home.
Mrs Hayler, who had the added complication of starting a relationship and subsequently going into officer training at RMA Sandhurst, said her husband knew there would be times when they would not be able to talk due to being on exercise for a week or so.
There is also the stereotype of military wives staying at home to look after their children and keep the house clean while they await their men's return.
Mrs Hayler and Mrs Wilson-Murray oppose this characterisation of service personnel partners.
"I think the stereotype is outdated," Mrs Hayler said. "I think so many partners of serving personnel are independent and have their own things going on.
"I have experienced prejudice and people being only interested in what my partner does, and as someone who has served and is very driven, I find it that extremely frustrating."
Mrs Wilson-Murray said it was "not so black and white anymore" considering that she and her husband want to enjoy life and travel around the world in the future.
Ms Grant and Mrs Wilson-Murray will be heading to Gloucester to see the Army play the RAF in the last matches of the Inter Service rugby union championships.
Considering both men's matches have been decided by one point in Plymouth and Twickenham, it is likely to be a tight affair again at Kingsholm.
"I think it'll be a close game, but the Army will just get a few more tries," said Mrs Wilson-Murray as she predicted a 45-32 win for the Army.
Army v RAF
Kingsholm Stadium, Gloucester, Saturday
TV: 10:45 BST (women's match) and 15:00 BST (men's match) on the Forces News YouTube channel and RugbyPass TV.
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