Parking War: Is Cassidy Little Disabled Enough?

SOMETHING happened on Facebook recently that made me stop and think. A friend of mine, an injured Marine, had a note put on his car by someone too afraid to leave their name. The note, which you can see below, said, "You have been reported - parking in Disabled - we needed it for Disabled (sic) mother and have blue badge."

Added to it in a different coloured pen was a more personal aggrievance, "How is (sic) disabled person coming out from this vehicle in winter pm. No disabled person seen here. PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN."

Now it isn't the mildly threatening language highlighted with the dramatic use of capitals, clearly we write as we type now, but it was the deeper sense of shame I felt towards a society which condems those who try hard every day to maintain a look of normality despite pain, difficulty and continuous challenge.

You see for Cassidy Little, myself and most of our friends this occurence isn't unique. Most of my friends and colleagues who have lost limbs or who have suffered non-visible, traumatic injuries to their backs, legs and groins have at some point experienced the disparaging looks, been verbally abused and even physically threatened should we use a disabled bay. We have our permits, we display them and use them when our injuries dictate that we need them but this doesn't seem to be enough for some people.

Clearly we are, on the whole, young. It is easy to miss our injuries due to our clothes, the gait we worked so hard to perfect and even our physical demenour. We want to conquer our injuries every day so we walk with our heads held high and a chipper grin on our face. We wear these masks because we know it could be so much worse, we wear them because we need to stay positive and we wear them to reassure those that love us that we will not give in to the little dark voices that dwell in our minds.

So why should we feel bad? Well because there are those with, dare I say it, 'worse disabilities'. At Headley Court Rehabilitation Centre we knew the pecking order - I, as a 'below knee scratch', wouldn't use the disabled bays. There were so many of us going through that place after 2009 that it was an unspoken rule but out in the big, wide world it's first come first served and it isn't based on age, weight or even the non-medical opinions of lone vigilantes operating in some pseudo evangelical fashion to rid the world of those they deem to be 'not disabled enough'.

Efforts across the injured fraternity have been geared towards pushing members and recipients to strive to succeed personally and in teams. From the actions of charities like Help for Heroes, BLESMA and the Royal British Legion to the phenomenal endeavours of those who walked to the North Pole, South Pole and attempted Everest with Walking with the Wounded (WWTW) our injured servicemen and women have been doing us proud by pushing their disabilities to the limit. 

Now which is to be more admired; those who let their disability control their life or those who, despite the pain, push themselves to achieve more. It isn't a British thing, it isn't a military thing, it is a mindset that we can encourage or discourage as we see fit. 

We only have to look at the success of Prince Harry's Invictus Games or the wildly popular 2012 Paralympics to see what is possible and which mindset I would rather have. But let's not forget that just because people achieve incredible goals it doesn't mean that there isn't any pain, that they don't suffer for their art, so to speak. What it means is that the pain, suffering and hard work gives them the challenge and success that makes them human.

I wonder if the person who left the note on Cassidy's car judged him to be a normal person, quite a triumph if you know the man - he is a Royal Marine from Newfoundland after all - and if they did, then shouldn't we be celebrating the success of the man and his clinical rehabilitation team to overcome the obstacles of not having a leg? 

Well yes, obviously, but Cassidy has an excellent response to this situation and, charged with emotion over the incident, he has written a letter to his local paper, the Stamford Mercury, in the hope that he can educate his accuser.

Below is an excerpt from his letter.

"I think it is important to point out that the reason I went to Afghanistan was to support the western world, and its way of life. The entire reason that people are able to take advantage of a government for things like Blue Badges, Education, DLA, Tax benefits, Public services, police, NHS, Fire service… etc… is because people like me go to war to stop the bad people who want to rip that away. So when one of our brave soldiers, like me, returns barely alive, missing a leg, and finds himself in a position where he might need a blue badge, I don’t expect the recipients of these government benefits to act like spoiled little brats. Please remember that your way of life has cost ‘life’ to maintain, and in this case, ‘limb’."

Now, I have spent the last 4 years trying to behave like a fully-able person, because that is what you strive for when you have parts of your body traumatically ripped from you. You want it all to go away and for things to return to normal.

"So if you happen to see me in trousers (which I have only recently become comfortable wearing), walking without a limp (which I have spent years trying to perfect) please keep in mind that my leg has not grown back, and the discomfort I live with every single day does not go away. And if the writer of this letter wants further evidence of this, I will happily send them a picture of me, cleaning the blisters on my stump, for their next birthday."

For Cassidy, like me, these incidents serve as timely reminders of the sacrifices our friends, colleagues and selves made to live in our society but if you disagree or want to share Cassidy's experience then you can tweet him @bears_eat_oats 

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