Long separations and missed birthdays: Remembering the families behind the forces
Today, as part of our Remembrance service organised by the BFBS Armed Forces Network, a staff member spoke about what the day means to her and the other families of those who serve.
As a veteran herself, the wife of someone still serving and the mother of children whose careers are in defence, we feel her words will resonate with many of our audience.
This is her message.
As we gather today to remember those who have served, those who continue to serve and those who made the ultimate sacrifice, I'd like to offer a slightly different perspective.
Not from the front line, but from alongside it.
I speak today as a veteran, having served for eight years myself.
I also speak as a military spouse of almost 25 years – my husband continues to serve today.
And perhaps most importantly, I speak as a mum.
Being part of the Armed Forces community has shaped every stage of my adult life.
Service is often measured in deployments, operations, medals and years served, but there is another side to military life that is rarely counted and that is family.
Military families don't wear a uniform, but they serve in their own way.
Being a mum to two boys has been a journey filled with pride, laughter and admittedly more than a few visits to A&E.
That's not unique to military parenting, of course.
What made our experience different was that many of those moments happened during periods of solo parenting while my husband was away.
Like so many military families, we learned to keep moving forward through long separations, missed birthdays, school events attended alone and all the unexpected challenges that life throws at you.
There were moments when it was difficult, moments when it felt unfair and moments when all of us simply wished Dad was home.
But something remarkable happens within military families.
From the very start of their lives, our boys learned resilience.
Not because we sat them down and taught it to them, but because they lived it.
They adapted to changing routines, new homes, new schools, new friends and even new countries.
They learned how to cope with uncertainty and how to support one another when things were challenging.
Most importantly, they learned that being strong doesn't mean facing everything alone.
Because when a serving person deploys, a family deploys too.
They don’t deploy to an operational theatre, but into a period of adjustment, responsibility and resilience.
I’m often reminded of how much the Armed Forces depend on that quiet support network.
Behind every serving person is usually a wider circle of people making sacrifices of their own.
Partners holding everything together at home, children adapting to change, parents and friends offering support when it's needed most.
These contributions rarely appear in official reports, but they matter.
Operational effectiveness is not only built on training, equipment and leadership.
It is also built on confidence.
The confidence that comes from knowing your loved ones are supported, cared for and able to thrive while you're away.
Today, our family continues its connection with Defence and with public service more widely.
Our eldest son works for a Defence supplier, supporting the capability of our Armed Forces in a different, but important way.
He is also a member of the RNLI, giving his time to help protect and rescue others at sea.
Our younger son has recently begun training as a Royal Marine, starting his own journey of service.
Although their roles are very different, both have chosen paths shaped by duty, responsibility and a desire to serve others.
For us here at BFBS, it is a powerful reminder that service can take many forms: strengthening and supporting Defence, responding when people are in danger and committing yourself to something greater than your own individual needs.
As a parent, that brings a mixture of immense pride and understanding.
I know firsthand the rewards of service, but I also understand the sacrifices that come with it.
And once again, our family is learning what it means to support someone who has chosen to serve.
As we remember today, let us honour not only those who wore the uniform, but also those who stood behind them.
The husbands, wives, partners, children, parents and friends whose strength helped make service possible.
Because military service is rarely an individual commitment.
It is often a family commitment.
And in remembering service, sacrifice and duty, we should also remember the resilience, love and support that exists beyond the uniform.
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