25 Things You'll Know If You've Been Posted To Cyprus
The weather is glorious for about 3,500 sunshine hours per year but when it's not, the thunderstorms are EPIC
Epic, as in, end of the world epic.
2. Halloumi becomes one of the most important food groups in your life
3. You get used to flamingos, even rare black ones, being as common as pigeons
4. You take on a full meze ...
... and somewhere around course 1,367, realise that eating the bread at the start was a bad idea
5. You join everyone else in getting a photo of Petra Tou Romiou AKA Aphrodite's Rock and know various theories about its mythical powers
The birthplace of the goddess of love, romance guaranteed, super fertility... ALL the theories.
6. You have so many family visitors booking in
Isn't it funny how when you were posted to Scotland no-one popped to see you, and now everyone is blowing up your phone with "I MUST come to see you" and then when they do visit, they expect you to be free to look after them 24/7.
7. You learn to embrace the meat sweats during a full kebab
It's still less food than a meze though, so you've got this.
8. A night out in Ayia Napa is a right of passage BUT you're guaranteed to feel old surrounded by post-GCSE holidaymakers and might come home with a dodgy tattoo
It seemed like such a good idea at 2am.
9. You spend the entire tour trying to master the perfect brandy sour mix
Then once you leave Cyprus you try to recreate it on your next posting and it's just not the same.
10. The mosquitoes. All the mosquitoes. Of the HUGE mutant variety. Seriously though, are they on steroids?
Trying to sleep? NOT TODAY.
11. The fear that you'll meet a snake on your daily travels
12. In Summer, the T-Shirt tan gets real
13. Driving scarily reminds you of the 'hazard perception' theory test when you were getting your driving license
14. And when they're not being driven, cars tend to be abandoned rather than parked
15. Health & Safety? Never heard of it
16. Any life admin takes longer than it should, and has to be done in person, with a pen & paper, rather than online
Except it is a problem when you've got other things to be getting on with.
17. At some point you've been unwillingly dragged onto a restaurant dancefloor to partake in Cypriot dancing or some sort of bizarre crockery balancing act
18. Kokkinelli (village wine) has made you forget everything about an entire evening but you *think* you had a great night
19. Tomatoes will never taste the same again, because you've been spoilt by the best
Who knew a tomato could taste so good?
20. You develop a taste for Keo ...
... especially the big bottles
21. Souvla BBQs are the new Sunday roast
But in reality, you buy the special souvla machine and only use it about twice.
22. You can ski and beach all in the same day
23. You start to take for granted the beautiful beaches that are on your doorstep
24. The villages are totally instagrammable
25. All your friends back home think you're on one big holiday but you do actually have to go to work
It's not a bad office though is it?
You'll explain all these things with a shrug of the shoulders & a "This is Cyprus, my friend!"
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